Unfaithful to your heart
by Chiera
Summary: They both are married and tied to their own worlds. Still when they suddenly meet they can't help wondering how things could now be, if only... It's too late to change one's past but at least they have still this one moment. Oneshot


**Chie: **While waiting for my grad idea for a long IchiRuki fanfic I'm offering you an oneshot. It's IchigoxOrihime, RukiaxRenji buuut mainly IchiRuki. Inspiration for this from Hinder's song 'Lips of an angel'. That was what I was playing on repeat as I was writing this... If you want to hear it, go find it from Youtube.

**Unfaithful to your heart**

Tossing around in the sheets he sighed to himself. It seemed that he had another sleepless night ahead. Heaving another sigh, Ichigo got up and walked over to the door. On the threshold he stopped, turning back to look at his sleeping wife. She was sleeping on her side, the long auburn locks fanning the pillow. Her breathing was steady and calm, so unlike the feelings flooding in his heart right now. The door let out a mild creak as he pulled it closed after him. In the top of the staircase he glanced out of the window. Seeing the dark blue velvet night sky eased his mind a bit.

From the corner of his eye he saw a lone figure, standing still on top of a wooden telephone pole. His heart skipped a beat as his eyes drank in the creature bathing in the moonlight. A faint night breeze tossed around her ink-black locks.

Drawing a shaky breath Ichigo rushed down the stairs and yanked a coat over his semi-naked body before running out of the door. He stopped at the gate, the gravel of the pathway cold against his bare feet.

She was there. Right in front of him, right now.

He couldn't think of anything to say. He had not really expected to see her ever again so nothing had prepared him for such a moment like this. He straightened himself, looking down to those blue orbs he remembered from so long ago. The night when he had first met her, twenty years ago...

She looked the same as always. Short and slim, her hair as unruly as always, with that one strand always falling over her face.

She was the one to say the first words.

"You look older, Ichigo."

He could not determine that tone of her voice. She sounded older as well, even though it looked like she wouldn't have had aged a day.

"R... Rukia.."

A faint smile graced her lips.

"How... Why..?"

"Hitsugaya-taichou is getting married."

"Toushiro is..?"

"Yeah. Matsumoto-fukutaichou is having quite a fuss over the whole ordeal so you could say that the whole Seireitei is in state of a chaos. I took an advantage of that and sneaked out without anyone noticing."

"I see.."

Silence fell again. The couple regarded each other for awhile, until Rukia turned her head to look at the moon-lit front yard.

"I saw you playing with your son earlier today."

Ichigo felt a lump in his throat.  
"So you married Inoue-chan then.."

Ichigo's face formed an expression she had never seen on him before, a mixture of awkwardness, embarrassment and regret.

"Well, after you left I – "

"You don't need to explain anything", she said quietly. "I'm married too. To Renji. He proposed after a while and I accepted because I couldn't stand being alone."

"Yeah.. I know what you mean."

"Are you happy, Ichigo?" Her question was sudden and it caught him off guard.

"I.. I guess I am." He replied after a moment spent thinking over it. "And you, Rukia? Are you happy?"

"I am, even though I can't stop wondering how everything would be if I had disobeyed those orders back then..." her voice trailed off.

Ichigo nodded.

"I know. I think about it every day, I just can't help it..."

When the words ended they were once again left alone in the silence.

Ichigo felt tempted to reach out his hand and pull the tiny woman into his embrace. To place a tender kiss on top of her head, whisper out loud the words neither of them had yet exchanged even though they could see them shining in each other's eyes.

Ichigo's fingers stretched forward as if they had a will of their own. They curled under her slender jaw, tilting her face upwards. Her eyes locked with his.

However, before he was able to do what he wanted, she stopped him.

"Don't, Ichigo", she simply said. The words were quiet and her voice was pained. "You know you'd feel guilty about it later. You'd feel bad for betraying Inoue."

Still after all these years it was her who knew him best.

Reluctantly he let his hold of her jaw fade. The warmth of his fingers lingered on her skin and she missed his touch already.

But she knew it was better left like this. Neither of them could turn back time. 'What if' – kind of thinking would not settle anything. They were both tied down to other persons, tied down to their own worlds. The gap between them was too great to be either ignored nor crossed. Still it hurt too much to acknowledge it.

"Ne, Ichigo... Do you think I made a wrong decision back then...?"

The deep sorrow and regret in her voice wrenched his soul, made his heart bleed like stabbed.

"I don't know", he replied helplessly, surprised that his own voice bore as much sadness and pain as hers had a moment before.

"I think he will start looking for me soon", she said after a while, her eyes avoiding his gaze.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good bye, Ichigo."

He saw the tear gliding down her cheek and he stepped forward, instinctively brushing the droplet away with his fingers. She smiled right then, a sad heart-breaking smile which made his soul cry even more.

Her small fingers curled around his arm and stayed there for a blink of an eye before she gently pushed his arm away. She took a step back and looked at him for the one last time.

Her feelings were openly showing in her blue eyes as well as were his in his own amber orbs. They understood each other perfectly, they shared all of the agony, grief and remorse. Then she turned around.

Once again he stood rooted to his spot, unable to move a muscle, watching her back as she walked out of his life. He saw her shoulders tremble and knew she was crying. The heavy lump was still in his throat as he forced himself to turn around and walked back into his house. As the door closed behind him, he covered his face with his hand. His cheeks were damp, telling him wordlessly that his tears too had ran freely. Setting his jaw he furiously wiped his eyes with his fists.

"Ichigo?"

He turned and saw Orihime standing on top of the staircase, wearing her dressing gown.

"Why are you up and with your coat on?"

Ichigo looked at her quietly for a while. Then he smiled.

"Don't worry about it, honey. I just couldn't sleep and went to take a little walk."

She answered his smile with her own.

"Come, let's go back to sleep."

Tossing the coat back to the rack he walked up the stairs and took her outstretched hand. Following his wife into their bedroom he couldn't help but think that even if he was had tonight been faithful to his wife he had betrayed something else.

The pain still lingered and Ichigo realised something that Rukia had already comprehended earlier. The reason for her sudden visit.

They could be faithful to their spouses but both of them were still being unfaithful to their own hearts.

Biting his tongue and tasting blood in his mouth he tried to made the image of the dear shinigami fade. As he wrapped his arms around Inoue's waist he pulled her body close to his, for a while wishing it would be Rukia lying there beside him, if even for one second.

**The End**


End file.
